Strange, Strange, Strange
Watch Hill History
Strange Strange Strange ©
Constantine Trapos was the founder and patriarch of Watch Hill. He and his wife, Olympia, a raven-haired beauty known for her psychic genius, quick wit and heavy pour, and for whom this restaurant is named, had three sons.
Spido, the oldest was an entrepreneurial dynamo. Spido invented the chocolate bar and subsequently created the Hershey Chocolate Company. He patented the first Connecticut Valley Broad Leaf Tobacco Wrapper and parleyed that into a cigar making dynasty in Cuba which was in part responsible for the revolution bringing Fidel Castro (rumored in knowledgeable circles to be Spido’s illegitimate son) to power.
Mikos, the middle son, was known for fantastic feats of strength, his financial guile and romantic skills with women. Mikos was the creator of the playboy aesthetic and was Hugh Heffner’s role model when he created the now somewhat passe Playboy Empire. A charcoal portrait of Mikos drawn by Pablo Picasso still hangs today in “Hefs” famous Playboy Mansion in Chicago.
Theus the youngest son was the most cerebral. He inherited much of Olympia’s clairvoyant gift. Born and raised in the Olympia Tea Room, Theus was able to hone his observational, culinary and intellectual skills finely enough to become the only individual ever granted a chair in the Yale University School of Culinary Sciences where, as a result of his extensive writings, he went on to become Dean of Culinary Sciences. Theus is still referred to by distinguished Yale alumni, his colleagues in the culinary sciences and savvy locals, as Theus The Great Philosopher Chef. The current owners of the Olympia Tea Room keep a partial library of Theus Trapos first editions. The remainder is in the hands of private European collectors, who were able to hide them during World War Two, and the Smithsonian.
This year marks the twenty-fifth anniversary of the ethereal passing of Theus The Great Philosopher Chef. His last book, “ One Fish, One Tomato, One Loaf of Bread and One Bottle of Wine”, a treatise on wine, food, art, love and magic was his most sublime. The writing of the book and the disciplined practice of the principals it espoused transported Theus beyond the corporeal, into a state of grace so exquisite he simply dissolved in a shaft of October sunset, the color of blood oranges, in this very dining room.
He disappeared on the opening day of the Nobel Prize Ceremonies, October June 8, 1957. This year, on the half century anniversary of Theus’ passing, we are pleased to announce, the Nobel Committee has seen fit to award Theus Trapos, Theus the Great Philosopher Chef, with the first Nobel Lifetime Achievement Award, recognizing over six decades of published study in the Culinary Sciences.
Because Theus’ work encompassed so many disciplines, science, mathematics, chemistry, engineering, literature and philosophy, the Nobel committee agreed an all-encompassing award like the Lifetime Achievement award most appropriate. The Gold plaque will be hung conspicuously in the dining room where Theus lived and died just as soon as it arrives from Stockholm. The prize money will of course become part of the Olympia Tea Room Trust, established by Constantine and Olympia for the purpose of furthering the culinary Sciences and the continued endowment of The Watch Hill Historical Improvement and Exclusion Conservancy.
In a rather obscure but timely publication entitled “Food for Blondes” Theus wrote, “ The most I ever hope for, at the end of a good meal, with the people I love is to look around the table and say to myself, “Strange, strange, strange, Oh, How funny and strange”.
That’s the kind of thinking that wins prizes.
All stories entitled Watch Hill History are fictious, all references to people either living or deceased are satirical
Jack Felber is a freelance columnist. He and his wife, Marcia Felber, are proprietors of The Olympia Tea Room, a Wine Spectator-recognized harborside restaurant in Watch Hill, R.I. Jack can be reached at jack@olympiatearoom.com